We provide the following ‘style stems’, or ‘language cues’, to help in executing certain Influence Styles and Behaviours. Use these examples as a guide, not as a prescription. Your own organisation, culture and personal preferences will help you to identify the most effective ways to express the Styles.
Persuading
Proposing
- ‘I propose that…’
- ‘I have an idea. Let’s…’
- ‘Let me suggest that…’
- ‘How about…’
- ‘Therefore…’
- ‘Consider this…’
Reasoning
- ‘The reasons are…’
- ‘Here’s how I see it….’
- ‘Let me explain…’
- ‘The data indicates…’
- ‘Let’s look at the research…’
- ‘Our studies show that…’
Asserting
Positive Evaluation
- ‘I like it when you…’
- ‘It really helps me when you…’ ‘
- ‘I’m delighted when you…’
- ‘A and B meet my standards for…’
Negative Evaluation
- ‘I don’t like it when you…’
- ‘It doesn’t help me when you…’
- ‘It annoys me when you…’
- ‘C does not meet my standards for…’
Stating Expectations
- ‘I want you to…’
- ‘I need you to…’
- ‘I’d like you to do this by…’
- ‘I expect you to…’
- ‘You must…’
- ‘My standard is…’
- ‘Please correct this now…’
- ‘What I need from you by Friday is…’
Incentive
- ‘If you do A, I will do B…’
- ‘I’ll offer A if you can do B…’
- ‘I would be willing to A if you do B..’
Pressure
- ‘If you don’t do A, then I will do C…’
- ‘I’ll be forced to do C if you can’t do A…’
- ‘If you can’t do A, then I will have to do C…’
Bridging
Involving
- ‘Help me understand…’
- ‘Tell me more about…’
- ‘I would like to know more about…’
- ‘What are your thoughts on…?’
- ‘Why is X important to you…?
- ‘What would getting X do for you…?’
- ‘You mentioned A, B and C. Which is most important to you…?’
- ‘How do you see…?’
Listening
- ‘So, you are saying that…’
- ‘Do you mean…?’
- ‘If I understand you, then…’
- ‘Let me try to summarise your points…’
- ‘What I have heard so far is…’
- ‘So you want…’
- ‘Based on what you just said, you must be feeling…’
- ‘It sounds to me like your main concern is…’
Disclosing
- ‘I really need your help on this…’
- ‘You’re right, it was a mistake to…’
- ‘Perhaps I don’t have all the facts..’
- ‘This is unfamiliar territory to me…’
- ‘I am concerned that I…’
- ‘I am open to suggestions…’
- ‘I’m really feeling pressure on…’
- ‘I’m confused / worried / uncertain about…’
Attracting
Finding Common Ground
- ‘We both believe in…’
- ‘Remember last year when we…’
- ‘Together, we can…’
- ‘I see we agree on…’
- ‘I share your concern about…’
- ‘This really appeals to our values about…’
- ‘From working together in the past, I know we both…’
- ‘I know that times have been hard for both of us…’
- ‘We’ve come a long way together.’
- ‘With your experience in X and my ability to Y…’
Sharing Visions
- ‘What I see us doing is…’
- ‘A year from now, we’ll both be…’
- ‘A year from now, others will be saying…’
- ‘Here’s what it looks like…’
- ‘Picture this…’
- ‘What would you like to see…?’
- ‘What is your ideal outcome…?’
- ‘Imagine the two of us…’